8 Ways Barbecue Sauce Will Provide Economic Stimulus

In the current economic environment, we simply MUST find more uses for barbecue sauce if we hope to be successful. Here are the best, U.S. Government-vetted ideas, along with some marketing recommendations.

1. Toothpaste flavoring ("Crest Smoky")
2. Uncle God's Body of Christ Eucharistic Country-Style Dippin' Sauce
3. Jasper's Hillbilly Anal Lube -- Now with more sting!
   
4. "Hickory Nightmare" coffee creamer
5. Kountry Kennel Barbecue-Flavored Dog Bath Soap (your dog won't be able to stop licking himself!)
6. Brisket Bomb Baby Soap (you could use the same ingredients as in Kountry Kennel; you see what I did there? Can you say, "market adjacency?!")
7. Alternative fuel source -- if those Detroit fat cats can't make cars that run on barbecue sauce then they DESERVE to go bankrupt!
8. Exterior house paint