5 Reasons We Haven't been Posting on Listacular

1. Profound indolence
2. Consumed by the train wreck that is Britney Spears
3. Looking for something in the garage
4. Finishing our doctorate in Applied Molecular Gastronomy
5. Inadvertently started writing for Perez Hilton
   

Ill-Advised Poker Bluffing Techniques

• Call your broker before your last bet telling him to "Buy, buy, buy!"
  
  
• Remove your pants to display your erection.
  
  
• Keep repeating, "I have a really good hand."
  
  
• Using another deck of cards you have in your pocket, put together a royal flush and flash it to your opponents.
  
  
• Say, "I don't think you want to do that" after anybody else raises.
  
  
• Drool.
  
  
• Eat the creme from the middle of an Oreo cookie.
  
  
• Ask your opponents how much they want for their cars.
  
  
• Pass out business cards for a bankruptcy lawyer to the other players.
  
  

8 CB Handles That Probably Won't Be Convincing

1. Gosh
2. Pope Tampon the Magnificent
3. Jermajesty
4. Cop Killer
5. Viscomte Guillaume Renard Saucisson de Beaumarchez
6. Pickles
7. Dick CockTower, King of the Rodeo
8. 18 Wheels of Taffy Love